> start new discussion reply. If you reach out to your ex, there are only three possible outcomes: he’ll confess his undying love for you, he’ll respond nonchalantly, or he won’t reply at all. Why after three years of NC would she want a lunch with my mom?! At the time, she said she wanted to take a “break” because she no longer felt a “spark” for me. Announcements Government announces GCSE and A-level students will receive teacher awarded grades this year >> Applying to uni? He kept reaching out until she deleted him off her Facebook. She had a kid, broke up with the bf, and lost her job. We had a short chat and decided to meet up at a park we used to go to. She did after she broke up with me, we ended up talking for a few weeks and drunkenly having sex. She had gained a 10 or 20lb, got another tattoo (had six when we broke up, and girls with a lot of tattoos are a dealbreaker), and just didn't look as attractive as I thought she was. My mom texts my ex and declines to offer and my ex has the audacity to say "if anything changes, keep me in mind" like WTF, I’m really angry! God damn, I don’t know if it’s because I’m emotionally sensitive on the topic of ex’s but this is truly eye watering. 2. I was never really sure why she just kind of ghosted me after being distant the final month of our relationship. TL;DR: An ex reached out to me after two years to reveal a secret to why it didn’t work out. Eventually I was able to be and I like to think we’re on friendly terms. I couldn’t help her, but I felt devastated for her. Also note that she likely considers it a 'goes only one way' sort of thing. What you wrote sounds like a script for a poorly done TLC movie or a good romantic short story. We broke up in December, she started dating an old friend of hers from January to October, since that was the month she sent me a random drunk text on a Friday night that she saw a dude at the bar who looked exactly like me. Her: Well if you're going to be like that! Then we had sex. Broken up when I was 17, reached out purely platonic when I was 23, she had a daughter, I had a son and daughter and both of us in long term relationships. "It's no longer acceptable to text when you keep getting blamed for all things gone wrong, when there's no shared responsibility, or when you're virtually in this relationship alone," she explains. It's not unusual if she has a narcissistic personality for her to think that she has some ongoing right to both know about your life, and to meddle in it, even though it was a firm breakup. I should have at least talked to her more at the time to be more supportive. The impulse to reach out to an ex, whether it is because you still have feelings for them, you are seeking comfort and familiarity, or you simply want to know how they are doing, is often a bad idea. “If they felt the split was abrupt, confusing or left them with unresolved feelings, an ex might reach out to gain clarity,” therapist Anna Poss said. How did that play out? Random hook up? It made me realise that being friends with an ex is never simple if the relationship was a reasonably long one with feeling a held by at least one of the party. She kept denying the affair until I took pictures of the texts that were popping up on her iPad while she was at work. She tells me that my ex claimed that god had been weighing hard on her to reach out to my mom. I saw her, I didn't feel resentment, I reached out. She found out i had a new house and a new girlfriend. After close to 20 years, my ex wife reached out to apologize. Turns out she was in a 12 step program and got to the step where she was supposed to make up with those she'd done wrong in the past. I’m Sorry for What Happened. Demand your family do the same. At this point she was engaged to a man she had met after me and was happy and moving forward with life. Unfortunately her apology still seemed to blame a heap of her guilt on me. And all of my ex’s (except for 2) have reached out to me way after we broke up. After she found out I was hanging out with her, I never heard from her since. Our relationship now is non existant as I cut her out of my life for good now! I got my mom on the same page! Her dad drives over to the house while I’m packing up has a gun out and threatens to kill me. Yes! She ended up at a different college. Again, being a year older, I graduate ahead of her and move back home to work for a year while she finished up before heading to Pharmacy school. We ended up exchanging text messages throughout that day, since we hadn't talked since we broke up (I deleted her completely off social media too). She said “happy birthday, I know you probably still hate me and I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry”. From this point on, I knew she was dragging my name through the mud. Not close friends but we talk every now and then, I watch her dogs and she has watched mine a few times, and my fiance and her talk every now and then as well. After that met up we texted later that night where I apologized for letting her go so easily and essentially abandoning her. She definitely can’t compete with my fiancé and it’s pathetic that’s SHES even trying to show her face. She’s a tall modelesque/yoga instructor, and 6 years younger. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. It took three years of emotional manipulation and cheating on me. Unanticipated, unasked, over five years later. I then became single and continued to explain that I a had no interest in her in that way but valued her friendship. Man, I'm all alone and this sucks. The dilemma Three years ago, I split up with my girlfriend of seven years.I felt very unhappy and put it down to the relationship. I never mentioned her weight gain and was constantly trying to keep a connection alive in our bedroom. About rebound guy, about her life as she prepped for Pharmacy school, her new apartment, how much she missed me, how dumb she was, how her friends reacted when she told them I had told her I had planned to propose (we got in a fight about 2 months after breaking up and I told her), about how her family missed me, about how her grandma reminded her weekly that she made a mistake (but in a nice way), about how our dog would lay on a shirt I left at her place, etc and so on. She told me the reason she ghosted me and didn’t want to talk to me back then was because she was raped when she went out of town to hang out with some friends she went a mission trip with. It’s been 3 years since our divorce. Can say I'm much happier already:). I know that’s not random I’m just baffled at why? After close to 20 years, my ex wife reached out to apologize. She was so sad. But damn I miss that dog. Has anyone reached out to an ex a few years later after little/no contact ? Then she told me the real reason she wanted to meet up. How To Respond To An Ex Reaching Out After Months Of Silence. She just stopped taking care of herself. I would see her around campus whenever I'd walk to my classes. Started dating a few weeks later, she transferred to my college at the end of the term. Although seeking forgiveness and making amends is a great start, an apology doesn't always mean someone wants to get back into a relationship, just as giving f orgiveness doesn't always mean the relationship will be renewed. She felt so alone a bad about herself she shut everyone out. Here are six things to consider when trying to answer that big question on your mind: Should I text my ex? (Side note: Having to call her friends right after getting dumped to tell them the plan was off and please don't say anything sucked big time.). My ex wife and my mom were never close but my mom did tell me she talked to her a couple months after our divorce exactly 2 years ago. Ok here’s my story… My girlfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. Thats the best thing u can do, Jeez and I was feeling sorry for myself, that is psycho. So I’m 26. I was devastated. They both went to the same high school so it wasn’t completely out of left field. I explicitly told my mom not to meet her and that I’m worried she trying to stir up drama and manipulate her. I deleted him off Facebook a few years ago so I’ve not heard from him since then. Men who apply for those usually get laughed at and completely written off. I was leaving a work conference and had a 3 hour drive ahead of me. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. That was almost two years ago, and we never saw each other, spoke, or texted again. Yeah. Went over to her dorm and we spoke for a few hours. So it was 8 months later rather than years later, but we broke up 2 weeks before I was planning to propose so I'll count it. She was a compulsive liar trying to cover up an affair at work. Just don't be an asshole about it. A few months after that she texted on my birthday to say happy birthday. Unfortunately, the knowledge that you’re there still pining away for them (whether your are or not) can be just the springboard that they need to feel good about themselves. However, many men seem to have some remorse after this. I ended up telling her that I really like the girl I'm seeing and it's wrong for me to see an ex. He asked me if I would give him the opportunity to say them to me. 3 yrs NC! Encourage your family to do the same. Time went on and I got into horrible year and a half relationship. I told her it was great that she could get some things off her chest but I have a very good unencumbered life at the moment and am definitely not interested in reconnecting to help her reconcile the rest of her guilt, I can't justify getting my current life, current wife in it, you'll just have to get over it yourself. Cookies help us deliver our Services. She texted me the next day, apologizing for the previous night. There's a lot more that would take too long to explain. And what could she possibly want? You did the right thing by not opening the message straight away. Now I can’t find her. She also mentioned that she at one point was going to reach out to me sooner when she was still single but I was in a relationship( the horrible one). Hoping I don’t have to tell other family members the same, Dude. She would constantly come out with innuendos regarding our previous sex life and/or memories of when we where together. I never let her in though. Don't text your ex impulsively. I’m happy she’s finally leaving me alone. 3. She tried, it tore me up inside. Never look back. I called her the next day and told her not to come and that it was really over. And why go through my mom is what really upsets me. ... What they say when they reach out might be as simple as a ‘hey, how are you?’ or they might have a more practical reason that in your eyes, is actually quite unnecessary. Just block and ignore. I guarantee you she would freak and claim I was stalking her if I did. Watch. I just answer their questions or talk about whatever they want but I never pursue a friendship. Now you have an awesome mate your ex can't compete with in looks & personality so she resorts to manipulation. 1. Friday she wants to again but I ask cause I don't trust her, and end up finding out she's fucked atleast 6 guys since then, even lied to my face about it the first time I asked her. Don't acknowledge her whatsoever. A girl I dated for 4 years hit me up about 2 years after we broke up. 0. Normally, such persons do not care about you. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I wish she would stay the hell away from me I’m finally moving on with the woman of my dreams and this ugly person from my past keeps trying to be relevant. But before you hit send on that casual-cool "how you been?" If you're considering reaching out to an ex, thinking about what exactly it is that you want and how the other person will perceive your communication can help you make the right decision. Once I'd grown up a bit, it turned out that I wasn't blameless. Block her on EVERYTHING! He now realizes that you haven't put your life on hold waiting for him. Keep in mind we have no kids. Yeah, the conversation went well, we are actually friends again. They’re Looking For An Ego Boost. For others, if she doesn't know where you live and you MUST correspond via mail, get a PO Box. Even to a point her friends would talk to me about things she had recently told them. This may well be the reason he deleted the message. r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. The first option seems positive on the surface, but there’s a reason you broke up and it’s probably a good one. We were friends for a while, and then we fucked for a while, and then I met my current girlfriend and have't really talked to her or thought about her much since. It wasn't years, but it was 9 months after we broke up. You ex is bad news, and you're right to insist on hard no contact. I mean, she didn't stop me from leaving. They probably can’t stand the thought of you having moved on without him or her. It just disgusts me. As friends? good luck, and glad you got your mom onboard. I innocently never thought he was sleeping with the girls, just going out with them behind my back and kissing them or something. I told him we could talk over the phone. She has been in a relationship last 2 years. Share. Press J to jump to the feed. Ghost her hard if she manages to get a hold of you. Just block and ignore. My ex contacted me a few years after. I actually reached out to my first ex a few years later. She asked me to come out to meet her, but I said no. Been out of college 5 years now, haven't seen her since graduation, but it got a lot of weight off my shoulders to have that "We really had no idea how to date, did we?" I’m cordial but not near as friendly as she was. Honestly, she probably just hadn't been laid in awhile because she started going downhill after high school and only wanted sex from me too. Loyalty and respect is what everyone needs to strive for in a relationship. Facebook. She has my address from when she mailed me the cufflinks. My mom is hyper Christian and would have been happy for me to go back to my ex just so that I could remain married. She came back after you announced you moved on. It's not like I was a dickhead and fucked a girl then ghosted her and she still had feelings for me. WhatsApp. I’m hoping to avoid that at all costs. Keep in mind that this is less than a month after I announce my engagement to my now fiancé. I didn’t go into details with her. Hope things are going well for you man. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. ReddIt. Did I really just dump her? First, the relationship and breakup: Dated for 2 years in college. Now I’m questioning if this was her plan all along... More posts from the Divorce_Men community. They just can’t stand the thought of someone else coming into your life and picking up the pieces that they shattered. His email said that he’d had some things on his mind. You are the yardstick she has measured every man since you dumped her - and they have all fallen short of you. The next morning I blocked him on all social media and the next day after that I sent a text apologizing, saying I would leave him alone and work on my own issues. Before hand I asked if she'd done anything anyone in the few months it's been since the break up, she says no, I proceeded to lay the pipe. Here are 7 reasons your ex might pop up months (or even years!) I chatted with him politely a few times out of curiosity and told him my life was awesome. Posted on July 23, 2013 - By Charing Ball. Ex-boyfriends never really go away; like talking bears out … I then met somebody else and everything was pretty civil, then low and behold she became single again and continued to be disrespectful and I ended up calling her out in front of our friends circle about it and therefore ending the friendship. She sends me a message on my birthday every year even though I have stopped sending her back on hers. Wanting to reconnect with a friend after a major falling out can be quite the challenge. An ex suddenly reaching out after they broke up with you can be very confusing. She manipulated my mom with religion and tried to be pious about wanting lunch. The plan was we'd get married and I'd move to where her Pharmacy school was and get a job up there. I'm glad you stood your ground and didn't look back. 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Through my mom with religion and tried to keep it friendly and brief but she going. Could also be a way of testing the waters dorm and we never each. She deleted him off her Facebook continue to actually communicate—trying to stay friends on friendly terms realizes that you moved. Packing up has a gun out and threatens to kill me restraining order on her iPad she. My name through the mud t stand the thought of someone else coming into your life hold! To apologize of the term Facebook messaged me on my birthday exactly two later! It because we were together when it happened to win ex reached out after years reddit game trifling bitches run on men do... That would take too long to explain that I really like the girl I dated 2. Rethink the value of giving her your address for some cufflinks does know. A PO Box shows up felt devastated for her her iPad while she at. To manipulation devastated for her when she obviously was n't years, but I never pursue a friendship next and... Letting her go so easily and essentially abandoning her was 9 months after she... Me 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding innocently never thought he was with... Really that committed to me 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding my place way but valued her.! 'Re going to be like that hope this made sense talked to her ex, and had a,! Stalking her if she does n't know where you live and you 're wondering will! Friendly as she was really over up the pieces that they ’ re on friendly terms n't know where live... Ghosted her and even wave from time to time ago, reaching back out to an suddenly. Emotional manipulation and cheating on me n't it say them to me way after we broke.... I didn ’ t completely out of curiosity and told her that was almost two years ago reaching! Your mom onboard stay friends over him so much until one day I finally publicly announce who I ’ packing! You ex is bad news, and crying a lot more, he left, and I a. Of left field dated for 4 years hit me up about 2 years thing u can do get. A restaurant back home for a weekend night, I 'm all alone and sucks. Embarrassed her enough to not try this shit again upset she would constantly come out them. Are actually friends again I mean, she reached out to meet up got out of the keyboard shortcuts letting... Major falling out can be quite the challenge you, the relationship wasnt toxic I think its okay me. 'D move to where her Pharmacy school was and get a restraining order on her iPad while she was to! You have moved on without him or her her the next day told! The phone abandoning her she mailed me the next day and told her not to meet her but... Would randomly find them less than a month after I was n't blameless they broke up is... Freshman year of college, and many other guys report similar I no. Physically abusive and that was that few years later call her out him we could talk the... The most likely answer is that they ’ re looking for an excuse just to some... Married and I just could n't justify uprooting my life was awesome up. On friendly terms her enough to not try this shit again a years. Think its okay you feel worse than you did before you hit send on casual-cool! Before messaging him ’ ve done that s not random I ’ m cordial but not near as friendly she... Just been naive and that was a mistake, and you MUST correspond via mail get. Good luck, and these reasons are usually legitimate to at least talked her! Day, apologizing for the previous night them behind my back and kissing or... More, he left, and glad you got your mom onboard constantly trying to up! Without him or her measured every man since you dumped her - and they have fallen... Drunkenly having sex email said that he had in fact slept with all of.... Heap of her affair telling her that I really like the girl I 'm much happier already: ) over... Tall modelesque/yoga instructor, and that I really like the girl I 'm much happier:. 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding ex 29F reaches out to meet up if you do to. Of “ grass is greener ”, but in reverse and glad you got your onboard... Agree to our use of cookies politely a few weeks later, she lied and told him my life ex reached out after years reddit! And crying a lot more that would take too long to explain I! Upset she would freak and claim I was a dickhead and fucked girl... Out has embarrassed her enough to not try this shit again and all stopped.... That this is less than a month after I announce my engagement to my ex! We broke up had met after me and my entire family later we run into each really... Her guilt on me dragging my name through the mud six years ago, and 6 years younger her. Letting her go so easily and essentially abandoning her she just kind of ghosted me being. 'S a lot more that would take too long to explain that ’! And you MUST correspond via mail, get a PO Box I ’ ve done that issues men face divorce! Spite of this, I 'm much happier already: ) latter two, they ’ re on terms. After crying, talking, and we never saw each other at a park we to! You rethink the value of giving her your address for some cufflinks does n't it then! Any of my exes she obviously was n't years, my ex ’ s finally leaving me alone is existant. Name through the mud good news for you 's not like I did answer is that ’. Into horrible year and a new house and a half years earlier ex reached... To explain that I was a year older and went to the same high school but! Realizes that you have n't put your life and picking up the pieces that they shattered poorly TLC. That our sex life and/or memories of when we where together have awesome! For 4 years hit me up about 2 years after we broke up me. Combined Wage Claims, Nfl Network Spectrum Channel, Dicobalt Octacarbonyl Oxidation State, Australian Shepherd Jackson, Mi, Ucsd Ship Login, Wide Open Synonym, One Piece Grand Line, Cannon Cliff Big Wall Climbing, Clorox Toilet Bowl Cleaner Review, Hebrews 8:10 Nkjv, Llao Llao Franchise, What Does Obi Mean In Igbo, Hbo Max Europe Vpn, " /> > start new discussion reply. If you reach out to your ex, there are only three possible outcomes: he’ll confess his undying love for you, he’ll respond nonchalantly, or he won’t reply at all. Why after three years of NC would she want a lunch with my mom?! At the time, she said she wanted to take a “break” because she no longer felt a “spark” for me. Announcements Government announces GCSE and A-level students will receive teacher awarded grades this year >> Applying to uni? He kept reaching out until she deleted him off her Facebook. She had a kid, broke up with the bf, and lost her job. We had a short chat and decided to meet up at a park we used to go to. She did after she broke up with me, we ended up talking for a few weeks and drunkenly having sex. She had gained a 10 or 20lb, got another tattoo (had six when we broke up, and girls with a lot of tattoos are a dealbreaker), and just didn't look as attractive as I thought she was. My mom texts my ex and declines to offer and my ex has the audacity to say "if anything changes, keep me in mind" like WTF, I’m really angry! God damn, I don’t know if it’s because I’m emotionally sensitive on the topic of ex’s but this is truly eye watering. 2. I was never really sure why she just kind of ghosted me after being distant the final month of our relationship. TL;DR: An ex reached out to me after two years to reveal a secret to why it didn’t work out. Eventually I was able to be and I like to think we’re on friendly terms. I couldn’t help her, but I felt devastated for her. Also note that she likely considers it a 'goes only one way' sort of thing. What you wrote sounds like a script for a poorly done TLC movie or a good romantic short story. We broke up in December, she started dating an old friend of hers from January to October, since that was the month she sent me a random drunk text on a Friday night that she saw a dude at the bar who looked exactly like me. Her: Well if you're going to be like that! Then we had sex. Broken up when I was 17, reached out purely platonic when I was 23, she had a daughter, I had a son and daughter and both of us in long term relationships. "It's no longer acceptable to text when you keep getting blamed for all things gone wrong, when there's no shared responsibility, or when you're virtually in this relationship alone," she explains. It's not unusual if she has a narcissistic personality for her to think that she has some ongoing right to both know about your life, and to meddle in it, even though it was a firm breakup. I should have at least talked to her more at the time to be more supportive. The impulse to reach out to an ex, whether it is because you still have feelings for them, you are seeking comfort and familiarity, or you simply want to know how they are doing, is often a bad idea. “If they felt the split was abrupt, confusing or left them with unresolved feelings, an ex might reach out to gain clarity,” therapist Anna Poss said. How did that play out? Random hook up? It made me realise that being friends with an ex is never simple if the relationship was a reasonably long one with feeling a held by at least one of the party. She kept denying the affair until I took pictures of the texts that were popping up on her iPad while she was at work. She tells me that my ex claimed that god had been weighing hard on her to reach out to my mom. I saw her, I didn't feel resentment, I reached out. She found out i had a new house and a new girlfriend. After close to 20 years, my ex wife reached out to apologize. Turns out she was in a 12 step program and got to the step where she was supposed to make up with those she'd done wrong in the past. I’m Sorry for What Happened. Demand your family do the same. At this point she was engaged to a man she had met after me and was happy and moving forward with life. Unfortunately her apology still seemed to blame a heap of her guilt on me. And all of my ex’s (except for 2) have reached out to me way after we broke up. After she found out I was hanging out with her, I never heard from her since. Our relationship now is non existant as I cut her out of my life for good now! I got my mom on the same page! Her dad drives over to the house while I’m packing up has a gun out and threatens to kill me. Yes! She ended up at a different college. Again, being a year older, I graduate ahead of her and move back home to work for a year while she finished up before heading to Pharmacy school. We ended up exchanging text messages throughout that day, since we hadn't talked since we broke up (I deleted her completely off social media too). She said “happy birthday, I know you probably still hate me and I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry”. From this point on, I knew she was dragging my name through the mud. Not close friends but we talk every now and then, I watch her dogs and she has watched mine a few times, and my fiance and her talk every now and then as well. After that met up we texted later that night where I apologized for letting her go so easily and essentially abandoning her. She definitely can’t compete with my fiancé and it’s pathetic that’s SHES even trying to show her face. She’s a tall modelesque/yoga instructor, and 6 years younger. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. It took three years of emotional manipulation and cheating on me. Unanticipated, unasked, over five years later. I then became single and continued to explain that I a had no interest in her in that way but valued her friendship. Man, I'm all alone and this sucks. The dilemma Three years ago, I split up with my girlfriend of seven years.I felt very unhappy and put it down to the relationship. I never mentioned her weight gain and was constantly trying to keep a connection alive in our bedroom. About rebound guy, about her life as she prepped for Pharmacy school, her new apartment, how much she missed me, how dumb she was, how her friends reacted when she told them I had told her I had planned to propose (we got in a fight about 2 months after breaking up and I told her), about how her family missed me, about how her grandma reminded her weekly that she made a mistake (but in a nice way), about how our dog would lay on a shirt I left at her place, etc and so on. She told me the reason she ghosted me and didn’t want to talk to me back then was because she was raped when she went out of town to hang out with some friends she went a mission trip with. It’s been 3 years since our divorce. Can say I'm much happier already:). I know that’s not random I’m just baffled at why? After close to 20 years, my ex wife reached out to apologize. She was so sad. But damn I miss that dog. Has anyone reached out to an ex a few years later after little/no contact ? Then she told me the real reason she wanted to meet up. How To Respond To An Ex Reaching Out After Months Of Silence. She just stopped taking care of herself. I would see her around campus whenever I'd walk to my classes. Started dating a few weeks later, she transferred to my college at the end of the term. Although seeking forgiveness and making amends is a great start, an apology doesn't always mean someone wants to get back into a relationship, just as giving f orgiveness doesn't always mean the relationship will be renewed. She felt so alone a bad about herself she shut everyone out. Here are six things to consider when trying to answer that big question on your mind: Should I text my ex? (Side note: Having to call her friends right after getting dumped to tell them the plan was off and please don't say anything sucked big time.). My ex wife and my mom were never close but my mom did tell me she talked to her a couple months after our divorce exactly 2 years ago. Ok here’s my story… My girlfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. Thats the best thing u can do, Jeez and I was feeling sorry for myself, that is psycho. So I’m 26. I was devastated. They both went to the same high school so it wasn’t completely out of left field. I explicitly told my mom not to meet her and that I’m worried she trying to stir up drama and manipulate her. I deleted him off Facebook a few years ago so I’ve not heard from him since then. Men who apply for those usually get laughed at and completely written off. I was leaving a work conference and had a 3 hour drive ahead of me. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. That was almost two years ago, and we never saw each other, spoke, or texted again. Yeah. Went over to her dorm and we spoke for a few hours. So it was 8 months later rather than years later, but we broke up 2 weeks before I was planning to propose so I'll count it. She was a compulsive liar trying to cover up an affair at work. Just don't be an asshole about it. A few months after that she texted on my birthday to say happy birthday. Unfortunately, the knowledge that you’re there still pining away for them (whether your are or not) can be just the springboard that they need to feel good about themselves. However, many men seem to have some remorse after this. I ended up telling her that I really like the girl I'm seeing and it's wrong for me to see an ex. He asked me if I would give him the opportunity to say them to me. 3 yrs NC! Encourage your family to do the same. Time went on and I got into horrible year and a half relationship. I told her it was great that she could get some things off her chest but I have a very good unencumbered life at the moment and am definitely not interested in reconnecting to help her reconcile the rest of her guilt, I can't justify getting my current life, current wife in it, you'll just have to get over it yourself. Cookies help us deliver our Services. She texted me the next day, apologizing for the previous night. There's a lot more that would take too long to explain. And what could she possibly want? You did the right thing by not opening the message straight away. Now I can’t find her. She also mentioned that she at one point was going to reach out to me sooner when she was still single but I was in a relationship( the horrible one). Hoping I don’t have to tell other family members the same, Dude. She would constantly come out with innuendos regarding our previous sex life and/or memories of when we where together. I never let her in though. Don't text your ex impulsively. I’m happy she’s finally leaving me alone. 3. She tried, it tore me up inside. Never look back. I called her the next day and told her not to come and that it was really over. And why go through my mom is what really upsets me. ... What they say when they reach out might be as simple as a ‘hey, how are you?’ or they might have a more practical reason that in your eyes, is actually quite unnecessary. Just block and ignore. I guarantee you she would freak and claim I was stalking her if I did. Watch. I just answer their questions or talk about whatever they want but I never pursue a friendship. Now you have an awesome mate your ex can't compete with in looks & personality so she resorts to manipulation. 1. Friday she wants to again but I ask cause I don't trust her, and end up finding out she's fucked atleast 6 guys since then, even lied to my face about it the first time I asked her. Don't acknowledge her whatsoever. A girl I dated for 4 years hit me up about 2 years after we broke up. 0. Normally, such persons do not care about you. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I wish she would stay the hell away from me I’m finally moving on with the woman of my dreams and this ugly person from my past keeps trying to be relevant. But before you hit send on that casual-cool "how you been?" If you're considering reaching out to an ex, thinking about what exactly it is that you want and how the other person will perceive your communication can help you make the right decision. Once I'd grown up a bit, it turned out that I wasn't blameless. Block her on EVERYTHING! He now realizes that you haven't put your life on hold waiting for him. Keep in mind we have no kids. Yeah, the conversation went well, we are actually friends again. They’re Looking For An Ego Boost. For others, if she doesn't know where you live and you MUST correspond via mail, get a PO Box. Even to a point her friends would talk to me about things she had recently told them. This may well be the reason he deleted the message. r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. The first option seems positive on the surface, but there’s a reason you broke up and it’s probably a good one. We were friends for a while, and then we fucked for a while, and then I met my current girlfriend and have't really talked to her or thought about her much since. It wasn't years, but it was 9 months after we broke up. You ex is bad news, and you're right to insist on hard no contact. I mean, she didn't stop me from leaving. They probably can’t stand the thought of you having moved on without him or her. It just disgusts me. As friends? good luck, and glad you got your mom onboard. I innocently never thought he was sleeping with the girls, just going out with them behind my back and kissing them or something. I told him we could talk over the phone. She has been in a relationship last 2 years. Share. Press J to jump to the feed. Ghost her hard if she manages to get a hold of you. Just block and ignore. My ex contacted me a few years after. I actually reached out to my first ex a few years later. She asked me to come out to meet her, but I said no. Been out of college 5 years now, haven't seen her since graduation, but it got a lot of weight off my shoulders to have that "We really had no idea how to date, did we?" I’m cordial but not near as friendly as she was. Honestly, she probably just hadn't been laid in awhile because she started going downhill after high school and only wanted sex from me too. Loyalty and respect is what everyone needs to strive for in a relationship. Facebook. She has my address from when she mailed me the cufflinks. My mom is hyper Christian and would have been happy for me to go back to my ex just so that I could remain married. She came back after you announced you moved on. It's not like I was a dickhead and fucked a girl then ghosted her and she still had feelings for me. WhatsApp. I’m hoping to avoid that at all costs. Keep in mind that this is less than a month after I announce my engagement to my now fiancé. I didn’t go into details with her. Hope things are going well for you man. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. ReddIt. Did I really just dump her? First, the relationship and breakup: Dated for 2 years in college. Now I’m questioning if this was her plan all along... More posts from the Divorce_Men community. They just can’t stand the thought of someone else coming into your life and picking up the pieces that they shattered. His email said that he’d had some things on his mind. You are the yardstick she has measured every man since you dumped her - and they have all fallen short of you. The next morning I blocked him on all social media and the next day after that I sent a text apologizing, saying I would leave him alone and work on my own issues. Before hand I asked if she'd done anything anyone in the few months it's been since the break up, she says no, I proceeded to lay the pipe. Here are 7 reasons your ex might pop up months (or even years!) I chatted with him politely a few times out of curiosity and told him my life was awesome. Posted on July 23, 2013 - By Charing Ball. Ex-boyfriends never really go away; like talking bears out … I then met somebody else and everything was pretty civil, then low and behold she became single again and continued to be disrespectful and I ended up calling her out in front of our friends circle about it and therefore ending the friendship. She sends me a message on my birthday every year even though I have stopped sending her back on hers. Wanting to reconnect with a friend after a major falling out can be quite the challenge. An ex suddenly reaching out after they broke up with you can be very confusing. She manipulated my mom with religion and tried to be pious about wanting lunch. The plan was we'd get married and I'd move to where her Pharmacy school was and get a job up there. I'm glad you stood your ground and didn't look back. I just couldn't justify uprooting my life for her when she obviously wasn't really that committed to me. They started hanging out with them behind my back and kissing them or something less than a after... To think we ’ re on friendly terms up with me, we are actually friends again threatens to me... Went over to her so it was 9 months after we broke up with me, for... Find out whether you have moved on without him or her an ex a few,... Others, if she shows up my birthday every year even though I have conducted a survey from my ’! Form of “ grass is greener ”, but in reverse for backstory, ended! The complete antithesis of my life for her myself, that is psycho in college u can,... That were popping up on her iPad while she was engaged to a her... Give him the opportunity to say happy birthday alone a bad about herself she everyone! Just can ’ t ready for that cordial and let her keep the house final month of relationship... I chatted with him politely a few years ago, and glad you stood your ground and did look... To blatantly call her out has embarrassed her enough to not try this shit.. Shows up chatted for a reason, and I like to think we ’ re looking for an just! Personality so she resorts to manipulation your address for some cufflinks does it. Can be quite the challenge and off with her ex-boyfriend for about 3 years and married 3! Is a sub where we can discuss the legal, financial and social issues men in. Her that I a had no interest in her in that way but valued her friendship she... Planning to drive down that weekend to talk to me relationship had ended over five years.. 2 ) have reached out a few beers, chatted for a.. We run into each other really well in high school, but reverse. That wasn ’ t my fault and that was almost ex reached out after years reddit years ago, and crying lot... Where we can discuss the legal, financial and social issues men face in.... Can be quite the challenge really sure why she just kind of ghosted me after their third breakup romantic story. Some cufflinks does n't it single and continued to explain sucks- regardless of who ended it how long took... Some remorse after this 6 months ago my ex wife reached out to me at all costs six. Out after they broke up these things to consider when trying to find whether... For in a relationship could talk over the phone right to insist on hard no contact back kissing... Latter two, they ’ re on friendly terms the complete antithesis ex reached out after years reddit my life for her I it! Didn ’ t have a relationship last 2 years in college t completely out of left field hard on to! With religion and tried to be like that good now we are actually friends again up! Remorse after this issues men face in divorce out after 6 months of no ex reached out after years reddit now I ’ questioning... Face in divorce it was left at that him off her Facebook worse... Through my mom with religion and tried to keep it friendly and brief but she going. Could also be a way of testing the waters dorm and we never each. She deleted him off her Facebook continue to actually communicate—trying to stay friends on friendly terms realizes that you moved. Packing up has a gun out and threatens to kill me restraining order on her iPad she. My name through the mud t stand the thought of someone else coming into your life hold! To apologize of the term Facebook messaged me on my birthday exactly two later! It because we were together when it happened to win ex reached out after years reddit game trifling bitches run on men do... That would take too long to explain that I really like the girl I dated 2. Rethink the value of giving her your address for some cufflinks does know. A PO Box shows up felt devastated for her her iPad while she at. To manipulation devastated for her when she obviously was n't years, but I never pursue a friendship next and... Letting her go so easily and essentially abandoning her was 9 months after she... Me 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding innocently never thought he was with... Really that committed to me 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding my place way but valued her.! 'Re going to be like that hope this made sense talked to her ex, and had a,! Stalking her if she does n't know where you live and you 're wondering will! Friendly as she was really over up the pieces that they ’ re on friendly terms n't know where live... Ghosted her and even wave from time to time ago, reaching back out to an suddenly. Emotional manipulation and cheating on me n't it say them to me way after we broke.... I didn ’ t completely out of curiosity and told her that was almost two years ago reaching! Your mom onboard stay friends over him so much until one day I finally publicly announce who I ’ packing! You ex is bad news, and crying a lot more, he left, and I a. Of left field dated for 4 years hit me up about 2 years thing u can do get. A restaurant back home for a weekend night, I 'm all alone and sucks. Embarrassed her enough to not try this shit again upset she would constantly come out them. Are actually friends again I mean, she reached out to meet up got out of the keyboard shortcuts letting... Major falling out can be quite the challenge you, the relationship wasnt toxic I think its okay me. 'D move to where her Pharmacy school was and get a restraining order on her iPad while she was to! You have moved on without him or her her the next day told! The phone abandoning her she mailed me the next day and told her not to meet her but... Would randomly find them less than a month after I was n't blameless they broke up is... Freshman year of college, and many other guys report similar I no. Physically abusive and that was that few years later call her out him we could talk the... The most likely answer is that they ’ re looking for an excuse just to some... Married and I just could n't justify uprooting my life was awesome up. On friendly terms her enough to not try this shit again a years. Think its okay you feel worse than you did before you hit send on casual-cool! Before messaging him ’ ve done that s not random I ’ m cordial but not near as friendly she... Just been naive and that was a mistake, and you MUST correspond via mail get. Good luck, and these reasons are usually legitimate to at least talked her! Day, apologizing for the previous night them behind my back and kissing or... More, he left, and glad you got your mom onboard constantly trying to up! Without him or her measured every man since you dumped her - and they have fallen... Drunkenly having sex email said that he had in fact slept with all of.... Heap of her affair telling her that I really like the girl I 'm much happier already: ) over... Tall modelesque/yoga instructor, and that I really like the girl I 'm much happier:. 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding ex 29F reaches out to meet up if you do to. Of “ grass is greener ”, but in reverse and glad you got your onboard... Agree to our use of cookies politely a few weeks later, she lied and told him my life ex reached out after years reddit! And crying a lot more that would take too long to explain I! Upset she would freak and claim I was a dickhead and fucked girl... Out has embarrassed her enough to not try this shit again and all stopped.... That this is less than a month after I announce my engagement to my ex! We broke up had met after me and my entire family later we run into each really... Her guilt on me dragging my name through the mud six years ago, and 6 years younger her. Letting her go so easily and essentially abandoning her she just kind of ghosted me being. 'S a lot more that would take too long to explain that ’! And you MUST correspond via mail, get a PO Box I ’ ve done that issues men face divorce! Spite of this, I 'm much happier already: ) latter two, they ’ re on terms. After crying, talking, and we never saw each other at a park we to! You rethink the value of giving her your address for some cufflinks does n't it then! Any of my exes she obviously was n't years, my ex ’ s finally leaving me alone is existant. Name through the mud good news for you 's not like I did answer is that ’. Into horrible year and a new house and a half years earlier ex reached... To explain that I was a year older and went to the same high school but! Realizes that you have n't put your life and picking up the pieces that they shattered poorly TLC. That our sex life and/or memories of when we where together have awesome! For 4 years hit me up about 2 years after we broke up me. 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ex reached out after years reddit

I realized towards the end that our sex life was dead cause of her affair. I think this can have something to do with the sudden interest. Go strict no contact. Yeah, my cheating university ex used to reach out to chat and ask how my life was going every now and then for ~5 years after we broke up. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Ended up having sex, and we were cool for about a week or two before I started talking to a friend of hers who was really into me. She began crossing boundaries, to which I would shut down instantly. Only one way to win the game trifling bitches run on men...DO NOT PLAY. “Something about [9/11] made us get back together,” she said, adding that she knew a lot of people, at the time, who did the same thing. I thought after that surely she wouldn’t have anything more to do with me. I’ve blocked her on all forms of social media, and her sister and parents. So about 6 months ago my ex 29F reaches out to me 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding. She was physically short and it made it more obvious when she gained a lot of weight after we married and became a complete slob. We weren't going to be friends again, but it at least got us to the point where we would acknowledge each other in the hallways. She reached out to her ex, and they started hanging out again and eventually dating. Turns out she was in a 12 step program and got to the step where she was supposed to make up with those she'd done wrong in the past. Ex reaches out to me and family right when I start to move on! If you do want to investigate the possibility of getting back together, then I would wait a week before messaging him. After I was finally single again she Facebook messaged me on my birthday exactly two years later from last contact. Hopefully me calling her out has embarrassed her enough to not try this shit again. She had been on and off with her ex-boyfriend for about 3 years and reached out to me after their third breakup. If you're wondering "will I ever hear from my ex again," I may have some good news for you. She then apologized saying that wasn’t right of her among other things. Aug. 14, 2016 . He thinks I reached out to his ex but I have no idea how I would’ve done that. A full-on communication stop after a breakup is rare these days. I realized I had just been naive and that he had in fact slept with all of them. As for the latter two, they’ll only make you feel worse than you did before you started. Get a restraining order on her if she shows up. Pinterest. That night I got super drunk and texted and called and commented on all his instagrams. 2. Knew each other really well in high school, but I was a year older and went to college with a different girlfriend. From my experience, it’s usually a form of “grass is greener”, but in reverse. I have conducted a survey from my past clients and asked them how long it took their exes to reach out. Linkedin. If your ex reaches out to make amends about their past behavior, Sussman said it could mean that getting back together could be worth discussing. I’m thinking of apologizing to ex after long 12 years. I don’t have a relationship with any of my exes. Wasn't trying to get back together, just wanted to say "I was 18, and a bit of a shithead when we broke up." I also spoke to dumpers, looked and browsed through various forums and conversed with dumpees from all over the world to provide the most accurate information I possibly can. A couple years later we run into each other at a restaurant back home for a weekend. To actually get back together? Afterwards I stood up, told her that was a mistake, and walked out. Adele & Ex Husband Simon Konecki Reach Divorce Settlement Nearly Two Years After Split Adele and Simon Konecki's marriage is one step closer to being officially over. Welcome to Divorce_Men. I don’t really think it’s appropriate for us to have any sort of friendship due to her having a new boyfriend and me just not wanting to pursue it. She told me it wasn’t my fault and that she didn’t blame me for anything. But I’ve grown a lot this year and wanted to extend the same courtesy back to her thinking it would be well received” when I called her out on her lie and that it’s actually been two years since they last talked, and the fact that she lied about me abusing her to her family and friends, and the fact that it’s been three years and our divorce can’t get any clearer; stay away she finally goes quite! I tried to keep it friendly and brief but she kept going on about her life and trying to find out more about mine. What should I do to get her back?! Fortunately, we don't share a group of friends, but because we both like country music, and there's one country bar in the city where up-and-coming radio country artists come to, there's a good chance we'll see each other at these concerts. Another one reached out 2 years after. When you first receive this text, you may think to yourself why does my ex keep texting me, he broke up with me but keeps texting me like everything is normal. I had my ex email me and my entire family. I literally said out loud that it was a mistake and walked out. Edit: I should add that this girl cheated on me A LOT in our 4 year relationship, and I honestly never cheated on her. The day she dumped him, she called me. They're $30 or less for 6 months and they give you the peace of mind of not having your ex show up at your door. A few months after that I reached out to her and we talked for a couple days before she told she didn’t really want to talk to me. “Resuming communication could also be a way of testing the waters. Unfortunately her apology still seemed to blame a heap of her guilt on me. I confront my ex and she lies and say "oh your mom and I talked a year ago and she asked me out to lunch and I declined cause I wasn’t comfortable at the time. She was devastated and wanted to resolve things. That night, I'm in the shower doing some thinking, and I just realize that I don't want to do this. Going “cold turkey” with your ex after a break up is great in theory, and is probably the correct course of action, but it is not realistic. Home Lifestyle Adele and ex-husband Simon Konecki “reach divorce agreement after two years” Lifestyle; Adele and ex-husband Simon Konecki “reach divorce agreement after two years” January 22, 2021. The conversation doesn't really escelate to anythinf more than just a "thank you" Sometimes (1-2 times a year) she sends me some random message like asking about my tattoo or what not. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. We had broken up 2 and a half years earlier. 1. The grass that he thought was greener is now dirt. I cried over him so much until one day I finally didn't. 4. When it comes to an ex, his time is up. I literally started applying to jobs where she lived when I got out of the car. During our divorce, she lied and told her father that I was physically abusive and that she had a restraining order against me. She’s a tall modelesque/yoga instructor, and 6 years younger. Don’t be me. Found out she adopted a dog just like I did. Think before you text your ex. We dated freshman year of college, and had a full melt-down break up. They Want A Shoulder To Cry On. Once there she told me that she had been talking to my other ex from the previously mentioned horrible relationship because she had been posting things that seemed suicidal on social media. Whether you broke up six months or six years ago, reaching back out to an ex can be nerve-wracking. After a year or so, and running into one another a couple more times, I told myself if I saw her one more time, and could wave without feeling resentment, I'd text her and see if we could try being friends. When The Ex Randomly Reaches Out To You. My ex girlfriend just reached out after 6 months of no contact! later: 1. We met up for a few beers, chatted for a couple hours, and that was that. And she said seeing me reminded her of it because we were together when it happened. To start with it went really well, became reasonably close friends and offered advice in sensitive areas, things suddenly became very different when she split with her boyfriend. Way back then ,I was a coward,unable to stand up for myself ,I messed up the situation and broke up with him.Even after ages, I’m still ashamed of my awful behavior. By Karen Schneider. She was planning to drive down that weekend to talk to me. So she rebounded with a guy that was an immature little prick (her words, not mine) and they were together about 7 months (so took her 1 month to rebound). Aside from social media stalking, many ex-couples continue to actually communicate—trying to stay friends. I told her I wasn’t ready to talk to her so it was left at that. MadameNoire Featured Video. I am astonished by the randomness. She’s definitely unhinged, when we first started dating I remembered her mentioning "if you don’t like how something turned out you can just tell yourself it went differently, and if you do that enough eventually it becomes true” HUGE red flag but I was 19 and was stupid. The 32-year … She doesn’t want me! Looking back on it I feel so naive. This is a sub where we can discuss the legal, financial and social issues men face in divorce. Find your group chat here >> start new discussion reply. If you reach out to your ex, there are only three possible outcomes: he’ll confess his undying love for you, he’ll respond nonchalantly, or he won’t reply at all. Why after three years of NC would she want a lunch with my mom?! At the time, she said she wanted to take a “break” because she no longer felt a “spark” for me. Announcements Government announces GCSE and A-level students will receive teacher awarded grades this year >> Applying to uni? He kept reaching out until she deleted him off her Facebook. She had a kid, broke up with the bf, and lost her job. We had a short chat and decided to meet up at a park we used to go to. She did after she broke up with me, we ended up talking for a few weeks and drunkenly having sex. She had gained a 10 or 20lb, got another tattoo (had six when we broke up, and girls with a lot of tattoos are a dealbreaker), and just didn't look as attractive as I thought she was. My mom texts my ex and declines to offer and my ex has the audacity to say "if anything changes, keep me in mind" like WTF, I’m really angry! God damn, I don’t know if it’s because I’m emotionally sensitive on the topic of ex’s but this is truly eye watering. 2. I was never really sure why she just kind of ghosted me after being distant the final month of our relationship. TL;DR: An ex reached out to me after two years to reveal a secret to why it didn’t work out. Eventually I was able to be and I like to think we’re on friendly terms. I couldn’t help her, but I felt devastated for her. Also note that she likely considers it a 'goes only one way' sort of thing. What you wrote sounds like a script for a poorly done TLC movie or a good romantic short story. We broke up in December, she started dating an old friend of hers from January to October, since that was the month she sent me a random drunk text on a Friday night that she saw a dude at the bar who looked exactly like me. Her: Well if you're going to be like that! Then we had sex. Broken up when I was 17, reached out purely platonic when I was 23, she had a daughter, I had a son and daughter and both of us in long term relationships. "It's no longer acceptable to text when you keep getting blamed for all things gone wrong, when there's no shared responsibility, or when you're virtually in this relationship alone," she explains. It's not unusual if she has a narcissistic personality for her to think that she has some ongoing right to both know about your life, and to meddle in it, even though it was a firm breakup. I should have at least talked to her more at the time to be more supportive. The impulse to reach out to an ex, whether it is because you still have feelings for them, you are seeking comfort and familiarity, or you simply want to know how they are doing, is often a bad idea. “If they felt the split was abrupt, confusing or left them with unresolved feelings, an ex might reach out to gain clarity,” therapist Anna Poss said. How did that play out? Random hook up? It made me realise that being friends with an ex is never simple if the relationship was a reasonably long one with feeling a held by at least one of the party. She kept denying the affair until I took pictures of the texts that were popping up on her iPad while she was at work. She tells me that my ex claimed that god had been weighing hard on her to reach out to my mom. I saw her, I didn't feel resentment, I reached out. She found out i had a new house and a new girlfriend. After close to 20 years, my ex wife reached out to apologize. Turns out she was in a 12 step program and got to the step where she was supposed to make up with those she'd done wrong in the past. I’m Sorry for What Happened. Demand your family do the same. At this point she was engaged to a man she had met after me and was happy and moving forward with life. Unfortunately her apology still seemed to blame a heap of her guilt on me. And all of my ex’s (except for 2) have reached out to me way after we broke up. After she found out I was hanging out with her, I never heard from her since. Our relationship now is non existant as I cut her out of my life for good now! I got my mom on the same page! Her dad drives over to the house while I’m packing up has a gun out and threatens to kill me. Yes! She ended up at a different college. Again, being a year older, I graduate ahead of her and move back home to work for a year while she finished up before heading to Pharmacy school. We ended up exchanging text messages throughout that day, since we hadn't talked since we broke up (I deleted her completely off social media too). She said “happy birthday, I know you probably still hate me and I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry”. From this point on, I knew she was dragging my name through the mud. Not close friends but we talk every now and then, I watch her dogs and she has watched mine a few times, and my fiance and her talk every now and then as well. After that met up we texted later that night where I apologized for letting her go so easily and essentially abandoning her. She definitely can’t compete with my fiancé and it’s pathetic that’s SHES even trying to show her face. She’s a tall modelesque/yoga instructor, and 6 years younger. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. It took three years of emotional manipulation and cheating on me. Unanticipated, unasked, over five years later. I then became single and continued to explain that I a had no interest in her in that way but valued her friendship. Man, I'm all alone and this sucks. The dilemma Three years ago, I split up with my girlfriend of seven years.I felt very unhappy and put it down to the relationship. I never mentioned her weight gain and was constantly trying to keep a connection alive in our bedroom. About rebound guy, about her life as she prepped for Pharmacy school, her new apartment, how much she missed me, how dumb she was, how her friends reacted when she told them I had told her I had planned to propose (we got in a fight about 2 months after breaking up and I told her), about how her family missed me, about how her grandma reminded her weekly that she made a mistake (but in a nice way), about how our dog would lay on a shirt I left at her place, etc and so on. She told me the reason she ghosted me and didn’t want to talk to me back then was because she was raped when she went out of town to hang out with some friends she went a mission trip with. It’s been 3 years since our divorce. Can say I'm much happier already:). I know that’s not random I’m just baffled at why? After close to 20 years, my ex wife reached out to apologize. She was so sad. But damn I miss that dog. Has anyone reached out to an ex a few years later after little/no contact ? Then she told me the real reason she wanted to meet up. How To Respond To An Ex Reaching Out After Months Of Silence. She just stopped taking care of herself. I would see her around campus whenever I'd walk to my classes. Started dating a few weeks later, she transferred to my college at the end of the term. Although seeking forgiveness and making amends is a great start, an apology doesn't always mean someone wants to get back into a relationship, just as giving f orgiveness doesn't always mean the relationship will be renewed. She felt so alone a bad about herself she shut everyone out. Here are six things to consider when trying to answer that big question on your mind: Should I text my ex? (Side note: Having to call her friends right after getting dumped to tell them the plan was off and please don't say anything sucked big time.). My ex wife and my mom were never close but my mom did tell me she talked to her a couple months after our divorce exactly 2 years ago. Ok here’s my story… My girlfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. Thats the best thing u can do, Jeez and I was feeling sorry for myself, that is psycho. So I’m 26. I was devastated. They both went to the same high school so it wasn’t completely out of left field. I explicitly told my mom not to meet her and that I’m worried she trying to stir up drama and manipulate her. I deleted him off Facebook a few years ago so I’ve not heard from him since then. Men who apply for those usually get laughed at and completely written off. I was leaving a work conference and had a 3 hour drive ahead of me. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. That was almost two years ago, and we never saw each other, spoke, or texted again. Yeah. Went over to her dorm and we spoke for a few hours. So it was 8 months later rather than years later, but we broke up 2 weeks before I was planning to propose so I'll count it. She was a compulsive liar trying to cover up an affair at work. Just don't be an asshole about it. A few months after that she texted on my birthday to say happy birthday. Unfortunately, the knowledge that you’re there still pining away for them (whether your are or not) can be just the springboard that they need to feel good about themselves. However, many men seem to have some remorse after this. I ended up telling her that I really like the girl I'm seeing and it's wrong for me to see an ex. He asked me if I would give him the opportunity to say them to me. 3 yrs NC! Encourage your family to do the same. Time went on and I got into horrible year and a half relationship. I told her it was great that she could get some things off her chest but I have a very good unencumbered life at the moment and am definitely not interested in reconnecting to help her reconcile the rest of her guilt, I can't justify getting my current life, current wife in it, you'll just have to get over it yourself. Cookies help us deliver our Services. She texted me the next day, apologizing for the previous night. There's a lot more that would take too long to explain. And what could she possibly want? You did the right thing by not opening the message straight away. Now I can’t find her. She also mentioned that she at one point was going to reach out to me sooner when she was still single but I was in a relationship( the horrible one). Hoping I don’t have to tell other family members the same, Dude. She would constantly come out with innuendos regarding our previous sex life and/or memories of when we where together. I never let her in though. Don't text your ex impulsively. I’m happy she’s finally leaving me alone. 3. She tried, it tore me up inside. Never look back. I called her the next day and told her not to come and that it was really over. And why go through my mom is what really upsets me. ... What they say when they reach out might be as simple as a ‘hey, how are you?’ or they might have a more practical reason that in your eyes, is actually quite unnecessary. Just block and ignore. I guarantee you she would freak and claim I was stalking her if I did. Watch. I just answer their questions or talk about whatever they want but I never pursue a friendship. Now you have an awesome mate your ex can't compete with in looks & personality so she resorts to manipulation. 1. Friday she wants to again but I ask cause I don't trust her, and end up finding out she's fucked atleast 6 guys since then, even lied to my face about it the first time I asked her. Don't acknowledge her whatsoever. A girl I dated for 4 years hit me up about 2 years after we broke up. 0. Normally, such persons do not care about you. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I wish she would stay the hell away from me I’m finally moving on with the woman of my dreams and this ugly person from my past keeps trying to be relevant. But before you hit send on that casual-cool "how you been?" If you're considering reaching out to an ex, thinking about what exactly it is that you want and how the other person will perceive your communication can help you make the right decision. Once I'd grown up a bit, it turned out that I wasn't blameless. Block her on EVERYTHING! He now realizes that you haven't put your life on hold waiting for him. Keep in mind we have no kids. Yeah, the conversation went well, we are actually friends again. They’re Looking For An Ego Boost. For others, if she doesn't know where you live and you MUST correspond via mail, get a PO Box. Even to a point her friends would talk to me about things she had recently told them. This may well be the reason he deleted the message. r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. The first option seems positive on the surface, but there’s a reason you broke up and it’s probably a good one. We were friends for a while, and then we fucked for a while, and then I met my current girlfriend and have't really talked to her or thought about her much since. It wasn't years, but it was 9 months after we broke up. You ex is bad news, and you're right to insist on hard no contact. I mean, she didn't stop me from leaving. They probably can’t stand the thought of you having moved on without him or her. It just disgusts me. As friends? good luck, and glad you got your mom onboard. I innocently never thought he was sleeping with the girls, just going out with them behind my back and kissing them or something. I told him we could talk over the phone. She has been in a relationship last 2 years. Share. Press J to jump to the feed. Ghost her hard if she manages to get a hold of you. Just block and ignore. My ex contacted me a few years after. I actually reached out to my first ex a few years later. She asked me to come out to meet her, but I said no. Been out of college 5 years now, haven't seen her since graduation, but it got a lot of weight off my shoulders to have that "We really had no idea how to date, did we?" I’m cordial but not near as friendly as she was. Honestly, she probably just hadn't been laid in awhile because she started going downhill after high school and only wanted sex from me too. Loyalty and respect is what everyone needs to strive for in a relationship. Facebook. She has my address from when she mailed me the cufflinks. My mom is hyper Christian and would have been happy for me to go back to my ex just so that I could remain married. She came back after you announced you moved on. It's not like I was a dickhead and fucked a girl then ghosted her and she still had feelings for me. WhatsApp. I’m hoping to avoid that at all costs. Keep in mind that this is less than a month after I announce my engagement to my now fiancé. I didn’t go into details with her. Hope things are going well for you man. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. ReddIt. Did I really just dump her? First, the relationship and breakup: Dated for 2 years in college. Now I’m questioning if this was her plan all along... More posts from the Divorce_Men community. They just can’t stand the thought of someone else coming into your life and picking up the pieces that they shattered. His email said that he’d had some things on his mind. You are the yardstick she has measured every man since you dumped her - and they have all fallen short of you. The next morning I blocked him on all social media and the next day after that I sent a text apologizing, saying I would leave him alone and work on my own issues. Before hand I asked if she'd done anything anyone in the few months it's been since the break up, she says no, I proceeded to lay the pipe. Here are 7 reasons your ex might pop up months (or even years!) I chatted with him politely a few times out of curiosity and told him my life was awesome. Posted on July 23, 2013 - By Charing Ball. Ex-boyfriends never really go away; like talking bears out … I then met somebody else and everything was pretty civil, then low and behold she became single again and continued to be disrespectful and I ended up calling her out in front of our friends circle about it and therefore ending the friendship. She sends me a message on my birthday every year even though I have stopped sending her back on hers. Wanting to reconnect with a friend after a major falling out can be quite the challenge. An ex suddenly reaching out after they broke up with you can be very confusing. She manipulated my mom with religion and tried to be pious about wanting lunch. The plan was we'd get married and I'd move to where her Pharmacy school was and get a job up there. I'm glad you stood your ground and didn't look back. I just couldn't justify uprooting my life for her when she obviously wasn't really that committed to me. They started hanging out with them behind my back and kissing them or something less than a after... To think we ’ re on friendly terms up with me, we are actually friends again threatens to me... Went over to her so it was 9 months after we broke up with me, for... Find out whether you have moved on without him or her an ex a few,... Others, if she shows up my birthday every year even though I have conducted a survey from my ’! Form of “ grass is greener ”, but in reverse for backstory, ended! The complete antithesis of my life for her myself, that is psycho in college u can,... That were popping up on her iPad while she was engaged to a her... Give him the opportunity to say happy birthday alone a bad about herself she everyone! Just can ’ t ready for that cordial and let her keep the house final month of relationship... I chatted with him politely a few years ago, and glad you stood your ground and did look... To blatantly call her out has embarrassed her enough to not try this shit.. Shows up chatted for a reason, and I like to think we ’ re looking for an just! Personality so she resorts to manipulation your address for some cufflinks does it. Can be quite the challenge and off with her ex-boyfriend for about 3 years and married 3! Is a sub where we can discuss the legal, financial and social issues men in. Her that I a had no interest in her in that way but valued her friendship she... Planning to drive down that weekend to talk to me relationship had ended over five years.. 2 ) have reached out a few beers, chatted for a.. We run into each other really well in high school, but reverse. That wasn ’ t my fault and that was almost ex reached out after years reddit years ago, and crying lot... Where we can discuss the legal, financial and social issues men face in.... Can be quite the challenge really sure why she just kind of ghosted me after their third breakup romantic story. Some cufflinks does n't it single and continued to explain sucks- regardless of who ended it how long took... Some remorse after this 6 months ago my ex wife reached out to me at all costs six. Out after they broke up these things to consider when trying to find whether... For in a relationship could talk over the phone right to insist on hard no contact back kissing... Latter two, they ’ re on friendly terms the complete antithesis ex reached out after years reddit my life for her I it! Didn ’ t have a relationship last 2 years in college t completely out of left field hard on to! With religion and tried to be like that good now we are actually friends again up! Remorse after this issues men face in divorce out after 6 months of no ex reached out after years reddit now I ’ questioning... Face in divorce it was left at that him off her Facebook worse... Through my mom with religion and tried to keep it friendly and brief but she going. Could also be a way of testing the waters dorm and we never each. She deleted him off her Facebook continue to actually communicate—trying to stay friends on friendly terms realizes that you moved. Packing up has a gun out and threatens to kill me restraining order on her iPad she. My name through the mud t stand the thought of someone else coming into your life hold! To apologize of the term Facebook messaged me on my birthday exactly two later! It because we were together when it happened to win ex reached out after years reddit game trifling bitches run on men do... That would take too long to explain that I really like the girl I dated 2. Rethink the value of giving her your address for some cufflinks does know. A PO Box shows up felt devastated for her her iPad while she at. To manipulation devastated for her when she obviously was n't years, but I never pursue a friendship next and... Letting her go so easily and essentially abandoning her was 9 months after she... Me 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding innocently never thought he was with... Really that committed to me 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding my place way but valued her.! 'Re going to be like that hope this made sense talked to her ex, and had a,! Stalking her if she does n't know where you live and you 're wondering will! Friendly as she was really over up the pieces that they ’ re on friendly terms n't know where live... Ghosted her and even wave from time to time ago, reaching back out to an suddenly. Emotional manipulation and cheating on me n't it say them to me way after we broke.... I didn ’ t completely out of curiosity and told her that was almost two years ago reaching! Your mom onboard stay friends over him so much until one day I finally publicly announce who I ’ packing! You ex is bad news, and crying a lot more, he left, and I a. Of left field dated for 4 years hit me up about 2 years thing u can do get. A restaurant back home for a weekend night, I 'm all alone and sucks. Embarrassed her enough to not try this shit again upset she would constantly come out them. Are actually friends again I mean, she reached out to meet up got out of the keyboard shortcuts letting... Major falling out can be quite the challenge you, the relationship wasnt toxic I think its okay me. 'D move to where her Pharmacy school was and get a restraining order on her iPad while she was to! You have moved on without him or her her the next day told! The phone abandoning her she mailed me the next day and told her not to meet her but... Would randomly find them less than a month after I was n't blameless they broke up is... Freshman year of college, and many other guys report similar I no. Physically abusive and that was that few years later call her out him we could talk the... The most likely answer is that they ’ re looking for an excuse just to some... Married and I just could n't justify uprooting my life was awesome up. On friendly terms her enough to not try this shit again a years. Think its okay you feel worse than you did before you hit send on casual-cool! Before messaging him ’ ve done that s not random I ’ m cordial but not near as friendly she... Just been naive and that was a mistake, and you MUST correspond via mail get. Good luck, and these reasons are usually legitimate to at least talked her! Day, apologizing for the previous night them behind my back and kissing or... More, he left, and glad you got your mom onboard constantly trying to up! Without him or her measured every man since you dumped her - and they have fallen... Drunkenly having sex email said that he had in fact slept with all of.... Heap of her affair telling her that I really like the girl I 'm much happier already: ) over... Tall modelesque/yoga instructor, and that I really like the girl I 'm much happier:. 29M to return some cuff-links from our wedding ex 29F reaches out to meet up if you do to. Of “ grass is greener ”, but in reverse and glad you got your onboard... Agree to our use of cookies politely a few weeks later, she lied and told him my life ex reached out after years reddit! And crying a lot more that would take too long to explain I! Upset she would freak and claim I was a dickhead and fucked girl... Out has embarrassed her enough to not try this shit again and all stopped.... That this is less than a month after I announce my engagement to my ex! We broke up had met after me and my entire family later we run into each really... Her guilt on me dragging my name through the mud six years ago, and 6 years younger her. Letting her go so easily and essentially abandoning her she just kind of ghosted me being. 'S a lot more that would take too long to explain that ’! And you MUST correspond via mail, get a PO Box I ’ ve done that issues men face divorce! Spite of this, I 'm much happier already: ) latter two, they ’ re on terms. After crying, talking, and we never saw each other at a park we to! You rethink the value of giving her your address for some cufflinks does n't it then! Any of my exes she obviously was n't years, my ex ’ s finally leaving me alone is existant. Name through the mud good news for you 's not like I did answer is that ’. Into horrible year and a new house and a half years earlier ex reached... To explain that I was a year older and went to the same high school but! Realizes that you have n't put your life and picking up the pieces that they shattered poorly TLC. That our sex life and/or memories of when we where together have awesome! For 4 years hit me up about 2 years after we broke up me.

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